Monday, October 27, 2014

The self-indulgent workaholic

In March I thought it would be easy to jump back into my old schedule -- blog on Mondays, work the day job, go to signings, and write all the things -- after Avenue Q closed. It was a good routine, one that I'd kept for a couple years. It would be crazy busy for a few months as I juggled rehearsal, day job, and writing deadlines but it was only a few months. I'd be back to my routine before I knew it. What I didn't expect was that crazy busy became the new normal. After the show closed I was thrust into multiple family obligations, a much busier work day, conventions, more deadlines, and since I'd grown accustomed to working at warp 9 until I collapsed from exhaustion I soldiered on. I was so busy being busy that I forgot that I didn't have to do that any more. I'm ashamed to say that it took me two months to remember.

This month I've been taking a lot more time for me. Not because I'm too exhausted to write, quite the contrary. My writer brain is buzzing with new ideas and my creative muscles are eager to be used. However I need to forget that warp 9 exists. It's not healthy. I've gained weight from too much convenience food and too little time outside. Plus being at events when I'm perpetually tired is a waste of time. I was consciously walking away from great networking opportunities because I didn't have the energy to seize the moment. 

I'm still writing. I submitted a Flame and Filch short to the Blackguards anthology and I'm working on the requested revisions for Moonshine, the short that Rebecca Moesta bought at the Anthology workshop. Instead of working on them every day, I'm only doing it a couple days a week. The rest of my free time is being spent watching TV, favorite Halloween movies, playing Candy Crush and Clumsy Ninja, reading, and hanging out with friends. I'm working on my embroidery again and even toying with the idea of getting back into drawing and painting -- which I haven't done since college. 

The recharge has been really good for me. Not only am I well rested for a change I feel more...strong, capable. This time away has not only cleared away the fog of fatigue but I think it's also cleared away the remnants of the fog of grief from losing Spud in January. It may sound silly but I really feel more myself, more than I have in the past decade. (And those who know what I've been through understand what an achievement that is.) 

Next month I'm going to start transitioning back into a regular writing routine. I haven't decided if I want to go back to a six day writing schedule or cap it at four days. Even though it would be better career-wise if I spent that time writing, I like having time to kick back. I especially don't want to lose my regained clarity and strength. I have a hunch I'll need that more than ever since I'm no longer an amateur writer. We'll see if I can manage to keep some downtime. I am a workaholic so I may find myself at warp 3 before I know it.